Wednesday, December 31, 2008


My papers have been in for just over one week and it's driving me nuts. I don't much like to wait for things, and for something this life altering is even worse. It's weird though, for how big this is I don't feel nervous. Maybe the actuality of the situation hasn't quite hit me yet. It was a rather big decision to make so quickly, it feels right, but I thought I would be more nervous than this by now. Maybe it's a good thing I'm not nervous? I don't really know.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Mission papers

So because I have such a great stake president that is super excited for me to go on a mission he made some time in his schedule today to meet with me about my mission papers. Actually it was kind of funny because as I was getting ready for church my mom called downstairs and told me someone was on the phone for me, and when she brought the phone down to me she whispered with a goofy grin "it's the stake executive secretary!". He called to set up an appointment for 5 this evening to meet with the stake president. At church I told my bishop and he was way excited for me, and he was surprised that the stake president was meeting with me so soon.

I went to my appointment and talked with the president for about 20 minutes. He asked me some questions, I answered them, he told me how excited he was for me and that he had me pegged as a missionary a long time ago. I don't know why everyone else saw me as a missionary but it took me by such surprise. Any way, at the end of the interview he said the papers will be in the missionary department office tomorrow and it'll be about 2 weeks before I get my call. After that the soonest I would leave is 5 or 6 weeks but it could be a few months before I go.

So now on to the stereotypical part of sending in mission papers, it's time for guesses. Let me know where you think I'm going to go. Maybe there will be a prize for who gets closest, but I haven't quite decided what that could be yet.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Almost there!

All my paper work is done, I have finished all my doctors appointments and now all that is left is meeting with my stake president. It's so exciting!

Monday, December 8, 2008


I suppose it's been long enough that I should give all my readers a little update. I have had my dental exam and my physical, just a few things to go back for at each place (nothing serious, don't worry) and then I get to talk with my bishop and stake president. Then it's time to wait. My parents are going to Hawaii in January and told me they might put the mail on hold while they're gone so I'm not tempted to open my call if I get it while they're gone. That is not ok with me. I don't care if I have to stare at it for a week, better that than have it sitting at the post office.

It's crazy how life gets complicated when you think everything is going right... That's all I'm going to say on that subject.

Monday, November 17, 2008


Last week on Wednesday I met with my bishop again after he learned how to start up the paperwork process. He asked me a few questions and then sent me out the door to work on my papers. Frankly though I think we should start calling then forms, it's all done online. The only paper you have to deal with is when you print out the forms for your dentist and doctor to fill out. I don't have to do anything with those though except hand them over.

I have my dentist appointment in a few days and I'm not looking forward to it. I inherited my dad's teeth, in other words they are bad. To make it even worse, I haven't been to the dentist in two years, since before I went to Germany. That was a long time ago.

Speaking of Germany I think it would be way cool to go back. Not that I'm getting my hopes up, I'll go where ever the Lord needs me, but how cool would that be? Anywhere German speaking would be awesome. Then again learning anither language would be cool too. And I know I can do it because I learned German fairly quickly and fairly well considering all the English that was spoken around me. It's so exciting to think of all the different places I could go throughout the country or even the world. It'll be an amazing experience no matter where I go.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

First talk

Earlier today I had my first talk with my bishop about going on a mission. As soon as that magic word came out of my mouth he started beaming from ear to ear and even got a little emotional when I told him my story of how I came to my decision. Three of his children have gone on missions, two of which were daughters, and he said it is an amazing thing as a parent to watch a young woman go on a mission because you know they are going because they want to.

Unfortunately I am in a very young singles ward, we were just formed in August, and my bishop has never actually done this process before. I suppose I should have warned him why I wanted the interview, but since I took him by surprise I have to wait until Wednesday to start the paperwork. He has only been through a walk through of how to get it all set up as part of his training as a bishop so he couldn't get the things started online quite yet.

I suppose I'll post again on Wednesday when I actually get my papers started. I already have a dentist appointment set up and an eye appointment. All I need is a complete physical and I should be set as far as medical appointments. Things are all happening so quickly, it's amazing. I couldn't be happier.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

It's official!

My decision is made, I have talked to my parents, I will soon be talking to my bishop and I will be starting my mission papers so that I can become a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I couldn't be more excited. It is probably the best decision I have ever made in my entire life.
Any way, I just thought you all should know that.

Sunday, November 2, 2008


I'm sitting at Denver International Airport right now waiting for my flight to go back home to Salt Lake. It was so nice to be back in my old stomping ground of Parker, Colorado and see some family (some blood and some as good as) and catch up with people. It's hard to leave though. Sometimes I wish I could move back, but then I remember how expensive things are and how much money I don't have. Besides, then I would have to visit Salt Lake all the time because of all my family and friends there. It's just a hard situation, we'll see where life takes me.

As for now the plan is to go on a mission. I'm just counting down the time now until I get home so I can talk to my parents about it. I have to do it. It's not scary, I think it's just Satan holding me back because he doesn't want more missionaries out there leading people to the light. Well guess what buddy? I'm going and I'm going to rock!

I don't much care where I go, although it would be really nice to go back to Germany or somewhere I could use my German skills I already have. If I don't go somewhere like that, a new language would be pretty cool. Spanish would be useful but I'd prefer something like Russian that I don't know at all. On thing I'm not looking forward to though is wearing a skirt all the time. I'll only get to wear other stuff when I sleep and on P-days. That will be hard for me, but it's something I have to do. It's not like it'll kill me.

Well I will keep updating on this blog with new things going on. I also need to talk to my bishop soon because I have some appointments later in the month that I will need to have papers filled out by the doctors. It wasn't my original intent but since I have them I may as well make the most of them and only pay once. Any way, I'll update with more later. Wish me luck telling my parents!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

For some reason...

So I made my decision (in reference to an earlier post) but for some reason I am finding it very, VERY hard to tell my parents. I don't get it, they aren't scary people. And it's not like I decided to go kill someone, this will be a very good thing, only blessings can come from it. So why is this so hard? I have blown many opportune moments. I just need to blurt it out but that obviously hasn't happened yet since I made the decision weeks ago.

Hopefully this weekend will give me some courage. I'm going to visit my sister and some old friends in Colorado, maybe they will be able to say the right thing to make me actually tell my parents. I keep telling myself I will do it but when it gets right down to it I can't figure out the right words to say or how to change the topic to me going on a mission... It's a big choice, you'd think I'd want my parents help. Why can't I just tell them? Why do I have to be so intimidated?

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Walked and walked and walked and...

I just spent the past two hours walking the streets of my neighborhood. It was nice to be outside, I just wish I could have been walking with someone. I tried a few different friends but they either didn't answer their phones or already had something going on or didn't get the subtle hints I was dropping in my texts. Oh well, it was still a good night and the only reason I came home was because I'm not wearing the right shoes to walk for two hours so my knees were hurting. I need to go on walks more before the winter really starts to come in strong, any one want to join?

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Bust a Move!

So today as I was driving in my car, blasting Flobots as loud as I dared, a fly landed on my windshield when I got stopped at a red light. The noteworthy thing about this is that when listening to Flobots as loud as I was it makes the car vibrate with every pulse of the bass and my car was vibrating so much the fly couldn't hold on and slowly bounced his way to the bottom of the window. I don't know if it really couldn't hold on or if it was just bustin' a move to my tunes, either way I thought it was hilarious.
I hope all you readers enjoyed a little insight into my life.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


I have had to deal with many decisions in my life but none so hard as this one seemingly is. I don't understand why, it's only a life changing choice one way or the other. Much more one way than the other. I just don't know what to do or who to talk to about it. Do I talk to friends? Family? People with experience making a similar decision? What do I do?!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


It's about 6:40 in the morning and I am pretty much awake and have been the past 20 minutes. Just in case any of you forgot or didn't know, I hate getting up early. It's one of my least favorite things ever. And why then am I up so early you ask? Laundry. Another of my least favorite things to do, but that one must be done. I tried going back to sleep but to no avail so now I'm writing this and texting a friend who is at work.

Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to be awake this early if I would start going to bed a little earlier. Last night I didn't get home until around 11:15 after having a nice night with a friend. We went out to dinner (even though we are poor students) and then when we got back to her house we just sat in the car and talked for two hours. It was great. We always have the best conversations late at night in the car. There is just something about cars that makes us relax and let our guards down I suppose because it happens a lot and we talk about anything that comes to mind, we just let our thoughts wander and the conversation goes right along with it.

Last night though was a break through. My friend told me things that she said she hadn't ever told any one and I'm so proud of her for opening up and trusting me enough to let me in. In those two hours I gained so much respect for her, she has had a tough life. Which I knew that, just not to the extent of things I learned last night. I already had a lot of respect for her living her life how she does despite the influences she has, but if it's possible I have even more respect.

I also gained a new perspective on how lucky I am to have the family and the life that I do. Yes, I already knew I have a great family but I'm so lucky that I have parents that love each other and all five of us children for who we are as individuals. They are always striving to do what's best for us and I love them greatly for that.

So there you have it, apparently my guard is down early in the morning too.

Friday, September 5, 2008

A long time...

So I just realized it has been quite a while since the last time I posted anything, almost two months, so last night I told myself I had to write at least something on here and give a little update.
I finished out my summer semester of college with fairly good grades, better than usual for me, so I was happy. I really enjoyed my classes and I'm hoping that my classes this semester get better and that I end up liking them too. As of right now however they are just torture. I have a feeling it may have to do with the fact that I am working from 9am-3pm and then I go to school typically from 4pm-9:20pm. Well, it's a bit more complicated than that. Wednesdays I start school at 2 which means I have to leave work early. Tuesdays and Thursdays I don't have class until 5:30 so I have a small break, though it's not really long enough to justify going home and then back to school since my job is kind of the half way point between home and school. Then again Thursdays I only have one class from 5:30-7:20 so that's always nice. But the nicest comes on Friday when I don't have any classes and at work the last three hours are planning.
I work for Granite School District as a teachers assistant. I'm in a classroom at a county facility and we have kids anywhere from 7th to 12th grade at one time. It's a pretty awesome job, though it can be rough at times. The kids all come from tough backgrounds, usually full of abuse, drugs and/or alcohol and are now in the state's custody. The kids are always changing, ususally only there for a few days but sometimes a few weeks at a time. I work with a wonderful teacher who does awesome things with these kids. It's made me realize how blessed I have been in my life to have the family and upbringing that I do.
Between work and school I don't have time for much else. I haven't pulled out my camera for a few weeks but I really need to do that. And I know, I still need to post pictures up here from my trip to Yellowstone back in July. It was a way fun trip but I have been so busy since then I haven't had time for much. They will get on here eventually though, don't worry.
One last thing before I finish, I love technology! I'm sitting in a parking lot selling produce (usually I do this on Saturdays but this Friday was special) and I'm posting all this on my cell phone. I don't have much time to just sit down at a computer any more so this phone keeps me in contact with everyone, keeps me organized and I just love it. I'm probably a little too dependent on it, but I don't know what I would do without it. Thank you BlackBerry for inventing such a cool phone (the Curve, not the Pearl).

Thursday, July 10, 2008


I just thought I would update since I haven't written anything for a while. Not too much is going on though. Well, no, a lot is going on but it's a lot of the same stuff and none of it is exciting. I go to school 4 days a week, work 3 or 4 days a week and that's about it. I don't have a lot of time to do much of anything else.

One of my classes is called digital media essentials and basically we're just getting a quick look at a lot of different programs, like photoshop, premiere, flash, illustrator and what not. It's a lot of fun. So far we've done a lot of stuff and the thing I'm most proud of would probably be my ecard that I made. Not that it's hallmark quality but it's pretty good for never animating anything before. I like it. It's actually my favorite class which is weird because I have a photography class and that's what I'm getting my associates in but I don't like my teacher so that puts a damper on things.

Other than that, school and work I mean, I'm going camping in a few weeks with some friends. We're going up right next to Yellowstone, literally about 10 or so miles from the border of the park. It's going to be so much fun. For sure I'm taking my new camera up with me (Nikon D60) so I'll be putting up pictures from that trip up when we get back. It's going to rock. I'm so excited.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I Got Tagged


A. Post the rules
B. Answer all the questions about yourself
C. After you are done posting, tag 5 people

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
In 1998 I was 11 years old, enjoying the summer off of school before I started at the big scary middle school. No really, it was scary. The thing was about 100 years old and I swear it could have collapsed at any minute when we were all in there.

2. 5 things on your to do list today:
1. Go to class
2. Deep clean my bathroom
3. Clean my room
4. Visiting teaching
5. Concert in the Park

3. 5 snacks you enjoy:
1. Ice cream
2. Gold fish
3. Popcorn
4. Chips and salsa
5. Fresh peaches during the summer

4. What would you do if you suddenly became a millionaire?
I would pay off my debt first, put half to three quarters in savings, buy a car and then travel!

5. 3 bad habits:
1. Procrastinating homework, although I'm getting better.
2. Not keeping my room clean
3. Impulse shopping

6. 5 places I've lived:
1. Canvas, WV
2. Gillette, WY
3. Ely, NV
4. Parker, CO
5. Rexburg, ID (but there's more...Katy, TX, Springfield, IL, and Salt Lake City, UT and Heide, Germany. Thanks for filling most of that out for me, Jeanne!)

7. 5 jobs I've had:
1. Dan Jones and Associates
2. Dollar Zone
3. Western Wats
4. Tagge's Famous Fruit
5. Teacher's Assistant (And there are a few more jobs I could throw in there...)

8. 5 things people don't know about me:
1. One of my goals is to drive all of Route 66
2. I'll only drink vitamin D milk if it's chocolate
3. Deep water terrifies me
4. I'm afraid of the dark
5. I have to have noise when I'm falling asleep, music or a fan or something.

Well that's it, that was quick and painless. I guess I tag whoever reads this, I don't think many people really get on here any more...

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Worked Out

Just a little update to my last blog of frustration about school. After going in to talk to advisors Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday (being frustrated, then calm, then frustrated to tears) we finally got things worked out. The advisor I talked to Tuesday and Wednesday was very helpful and actually went in to talk to the Visual Art and Design (VAD) department head for me since I was always at work. Then on Thursday he called me up and said after talking to the department head that everything was going to work out, the teacher would let me in to the earlier class and all I had to do was show up to the end of the class and talk to the teacher. So that's what I did.
I went to the school right after we let the kids go and got there for the last 15 minutes or so of the class. After the lecture ended I talked to the teacher and she put my name on the roll, gave me the syllabus and told me to see about registering over the weekend. I then asked her if her email address was on the syllabus and she said "No. I guess I should think about adding that some time. Here, let me look it up for you, I'll give you my address through the school." She then started typing on the computer.... I waited.... She typed some more.... I still waited.... Finally she gave in and gave me her person email address. I couldn't believe it, this is the teacher that is teaching a digital media essentials class and she doesn't even know her own email address. Wow! No wonder I had problems getting into the class! But I'm in now and that's all that matters.
Oh yeah and around 3:45 that same afternoon, the VAD department head gave me a call to see if I had gotten things straightened out. How nice of him to call me two days later. Sheesh!

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Before It All

Summer semester starts Wednesday. If you had asked me a week ago I would have told you I was way excited for the term to start. Ask me now and I'll tell you how frustrating things have gotten with SLCC. I registered within days of the opening day, it may have even been the day registration opened for me, and I have been ready for this for the past month. Now, in the final days I am so mad at SLCC it's not even funny.
I got online earlier today to check I had written down the right times in all three places that I put my schedule down and to get the class room numbers written down. As I did this I realized that my photography and digital media essentials classes were no longer at the times I had originally signed up for. Not only were they not the right time but not even the right day! They switched from Tuesday and Thursday to Monday and Wednesday, not that it's really that big of a deal but the real kicker is that they are now both at the very same exact time as well. How the heck do they expect me to be in two places at once?!
There is another digital media essentials class I could potentially sign up for because it says there is still one spot left but there is no check box by the class. I don't get it. And if I can't sign up for that class I don't know what to do, I'll have to drop one of the two and find a different class that is offered at this start point seeing as how the semester actually started May 12th. The problem with that is most of the classes will be full by now since it's so close to the start of the term.
This begs me to ask, WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED?! Who decided to switch people's schedules and not tell the students that signed up for them? Why are all the professors listed for this one class not listed in the employee directory making it near impossible to contact them? I don't think I would be quite as frustrated if I had just been told that my classes were going to change. When my German class was changed my professor called me personally and left a voice mail informing of the time change, giving me her phone number and email address if there was any problem and also telling me which text book to get and which chapters we would be using throughout the semester. It was a long message, but I'm sure she called all the students enrolled in the class and told them of the change. Now granted that was a while ago and there probably weren't as many people but how hard would it be to get all of our email addresses and send out a mass email saying, "By the way your class has been changed from TR 2-4:30pm to MW 5-10pm. If that is a problem please contact ______. Sorry for any inconvenience." Or, "By the way your class has been changed from TR 5-9pm to MW 5-10:15pm. If that is a problem please contact _______. Sorry for any inconvenience." Would that really be so hard? Apparently, it is. And how both classes were extended so long I don't know. I hope it's just a glitch in the computer and everything will be fixed in the morning.

Will this nightmare never end?

Saturday, May 24, 2008

So much for that...

Well apparently I didn't get any better about writing in this blog, so just get over it. I'll post when I feel like it. Actually I think a big reason as to why I don't write on this too often is because I hardly get on the computer, I have my phone to check my email and facebook and myspace and google things and yeah... computers are kinda old fashioned. Desktops any way. There are plenty of times when I've been down in my room and wanted to get on the computer but didn't because that would require me to go upstairs and sit in the office which is right next to my parents bedroom and have to be quiet so as not to wake them up. Some day though I will have my own laptop and then maybe I will be better about it because I can stay in my bedroom and still be online.

Life is great! I just want everyone to know that. Don't ask me why though, there is no real explination. Life is just grand and that's all there is to it. I like my job, which I will terribly miss during the summer even though I already have another great job lined up. I have plenty of time to relax and hang out with friends, but that may change once school starts in about two weeks. My life is just great and I'm happier than I think I've ever been, usually I would just describe myself as being content but now I'm actually happy. It's the best feeling in the world!

So yesterday my friend bought a brand new car, all on her very own, and it made me realize something; if I want something I just need to keep with it and I will be able to achieve anything. She had been saving for this car for quite a while and yesterday she bit the bullet, took her dad with her to the dealership and now she has a brand spankin' new car all to herself. How cool is that? I'm struggling to make it paycheck to paycheck right now (granted I've only really had one "normal" paycheck so far with this new job), there's no way I could think about a car. I'm just working on having enough for a nice DSLR (camera) and a laptop. But like I said, I just need to keep my eye on the prize and soon enough I'll have both.

Speaking of cameras now, I've decided to go to school and get my associates degree in photography. I do have a slight problem with that though, I don't have a camera and so while all my friends are out there with their cool cameras having random photoshoots I do nothing but stand by and watch (sometimes model) and wish I had my own camera to do things with. Well ok so I have a camera but it's some cheap little thing from Walmart that cost about $100 two or three years ago. I don't feel much like a photographer. Sometimes it even makes me wonder, as I look at all the cool pictures the people around me are taking, if I have chosen the right line of work to go into. My experience level is nowhere near theirs because they get to practice whenever they want.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Life is great

Wow, I have sucked at this for the past month. Woops! Now that I have a set schedule and I'm not quite so busy I'm going to be better. Or try at least. First we'll do a job update. I quit Dan Jones for good, I'm never going back! It's official. I've done it twice and I don't ever want to do it again. Not that it was a bad job but two years is more than enough phone bank work for me. Right now I work for Granite School District as a teacher's assistant which basically means I make copies, answer the phone, help keep the class in order and occasionally take over the class (like today when the teacher isn't here and there's no sub). It's not at an actual school, we take kids that are 7th-12th grade who mostly are in the state's custody for whatever reason and can't go to their own school. We usually have around 8-10 kids, some times more and some times less. Today most of the kids got to go on a therapy related field trip and there are only 3 kids that I have to worry about. Fridays are nice though because we only have a half day of class and most of the time other people come in to teach lessons, like life skills and effects and things of drugs and alcohol. I will only have an hour to take the class. I really like my job though. It's the best thing since sliced bread. Okay, maybe not that cool but I really do think it's a great job. It's the first job I've had that I actually enjoy going to every day.

Other than work life is great. Just hang out and try to keep myself busy in the afternoons. I play ultimate frisbee every Monday night with a group of people which I love! It's so nice to be able to play again. So great! Any way, I need to get to work. The lady "teaching" life skills is about to leave so it's time for me to get these kids to work. I'll be better about writing.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Employed, not excited

So I need to do a slight update from my last blog. I am only working at Dan Jones and Associates doing telephone surverys. The job up at the U didn't pull through because of some differences I guess you could say. Basically we played phone tag but I didn't really feel like they were trying hard enough and didn't really want me to work there. I need managment that will take action and not call every few days even though I call every day. Not so cool.

There is another perspective job however working for my school district as an instructors assistant in schools mainly on the west side in classrooms where the students have hard lives, aka foster care or maybe druggie parents and things like that. I really want the job, I think it would be cool to help those kids. I love helping other people learn new things and seeing the moment where it clicks in their head and you just know that now they understand what's going on. It's a great moment. So we'll see how that all works out, hopefully for the best!

Friday, March 14, 2008

No longer unemployed

So for the past month almost I have been on the hunt for a job. I started out thinking I wanted more of an office job maybe as a receptionist, but really just something that would give me a set schedule with regular hours. Not retail!!! Well as time went on and I thought about things more I decided desk jobs are not my piece of pie. I don't like just sitting at a desk for hours answering phones and what not. But that doesn't leave much else open since I had already ruled out retail which includes food places.

As time went on and I got more desperate I decided to go to my fall back. I am now again employed at Dan Jones and Associates, my high school job, where I will be doing phone surveys. Two bad things about this, the hours and the fact that I'll be stuck in a cubicle the whole time. The only shift they really have available is from 4pm to 9pm (meaning only part time) so I can pretty much kiss my social life goodbye.

I do have another job though at the University of Utah in their ID card office, again only part time. So life provided, just a little differently than I thought it would. So that's my update for now. Hopefully I will start to get more regular with this again, I kinda slacked off for a little bit for a while there.

Friday, February 22, 2008

First full weekend

So this is my first full weekend home and guess what I'm doing on a Friday night? Probably going to the gym by my lonesome because there is no one to hang out with, everyone else has plans already. Oh well, that's life I suppose. Well I'm off to go acclimate myself back to Utah elevation. Peace.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Is This Real?

In less than 24 hours my parents and BreAnne will be here in Germany at my house. I've been doing quite a bit to get ready; packing, sending things home, cleaning, closing my bank account and things of the like but somehow it still doesn't feel like my time is up. I don't know why. For the past two or three months I have been counting down the days until they get here and now that it's tomorrow it doesn't feel real. This is such a weird feeling. I want to be excited but because it doesn't feel like a reality it's hard to get pumped. Perhaps it's because I am also counting down the days until we get home and that's not until the end of next week. Who knows?

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Job Search

In just over two weeks I will be back in the USA and starting to adjust to new life. Part of that new life will require getting a job though which I'm not looking forward to. I mean I'm excited about having a normal job again but I don't like the searching process. I'm trying to find a normal 9-5 job and yet the idea of sitting at a desk all day answering phones isn't that pleasing to me. But then again maybe I'm still at that point in my life when I have to just take random jobs to pay the bills and get through school and then I can get on with what I like. Seems an odd way to do it though.

I've decided I'm going to get an associates degree in photography from SLCC and then see where that takes me afterwords. There are quite a few job possibilities with a degree in photography but I think I would rather go into the free lance, artistic side of it. I suppose that means I would need a regular job as well to earn enough money to support myself.

If anyone has leads or ideas as to available jobs it would be greatly appreciated if you let me know. Something in the arts/music industry would be nice.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

What's the number for 911?

Well wouldn't you know it after all that complaining I did about last week and getting in trouble, the very next day I have to call an ambulence. I was also reminded that I would not do well working in an emergency room at a hospital. So here's the low down of what happened Thursday.

Around 11 am (time is key in this) Dagmar came up to my room and started crying. She said that her right side was going kind of numb and she couldn't use her right arm at all really, that she felt like she had no control over anything anymore, she was freezing cold but couldn't start a fire, she was stressed, she hates that she has MS and a few other things I couldn't really understand because she was crying. I finally got a word in edge wise and told her to go downstairs, lay down and I would take care of things the rest of the day. In other words do the job I'm here to do instead of her not letting me help. (I could probably try harder, but couldn't we all?) So we went downstairs and I started a fire for her and got lunch ready for when the kids got home.

A little after 12 the kids got home and we had lunch. Majlie didn't have any homework so she helped Mimi (without fighting - wahoo!) I checked on Dagmar a few times but she took some sleeping medicine so she was out most of the time. Basically I just kept the fire going so that she would stay warm.
At 2 I took Majlie to a friends house so they could work on something for school and then play when they finished and when I came back in the door Dagmar was calling for Mimi so I grabbed her and we both went in. Turns out she needed to go to the bathroom but couldn't get up. I got the wheelchair and Mimi and I helped Dagmar in there and then (I'll spare the details) helped her in the bathroom. We got her back to the couch and took her temperature which was at 38,77°C which is getting pretty high, normal is about 37°C. It wasn't the most accurate of readings either since we could only do it under her arm not in the mouth since they stick it in the other end if you know what I mean. She was also starting to have trouble speaking, her mind wasn't all quite there so I called up the missionaries and luckily they had time to come over at 3 pm and give her a blessing. Mimi called a family friend who is like another grandma for the kids and she also came over. I called Dirk at work but he was in a meeting so his secretary had to pull him out and I asked what we should do. He made a few calls to some doctors and finally we decided she needed to go to the hospital.

At this point I'm not exactly sure what time it was but we called 911 (which here is 112) and told them we needed an ambulence. It must have been around 3:30 that they came and by then Dagmar was completely out of it. It was like the movies when people are really sick, mumbling, saying weird stuff, making weird noises. If I wasn't so nervous I probably would have laughed. One of the things she kept saying though was that she didn't want to go to the hospital because she would die there. Any way, the EMTs came in and asked us a few questions, tried to get Dagmar to wake up (which Mimi laughed at because they shook not so gently and loudly said, "Frau Schumaier, open your eyes!") which she didn't really, her eyes would open for a few seconds and then close again. They brought in the gurney (which one of the elders and I joked with Mimi about, having a bed on wheels) and loaded her up and put her in the ambulence. They took a look at the medicines that she has just to make sure before they took her away and then by about quarter to 4 everyone was gone and it was just Mimi and I.
Dagmar stayed in the hospital over night under constant supervision. Dirk left from work early and came home, which being a Thursday afternoon took about 3 hours. He told me later that night after he got back from the hospital that Dagmar's fever was almost 41°C which is basically the point where you could die.
It's just amazing how quickly some things happen. In 3 hours she went from walking the stairs to hardly being able to even sit up, then an hour after that couldn't even talk.
She's doing alright now. They released her from the hospital Friday and she was home before the kids got back from school. There's no fever any more (which apparently was caused by her wisdom teeth which I didn't know could happen) but she's still really wobbly when she walks, even more so that usual. She can't go more than just a few steps without holding on to something so we have her walker out so she doesn't have to depend on the walls holding her up. Basically this means that the next week and a half I finally have stuff to do. I've only been waiting for that for the past 11 months.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Everything is wrong

I realize that it is my job as an au pair to help take care of the kids and part of my responsibility is to get them ready for school in the morning but there are just some things that I don't feel I should get in trouble for. Yesterday I woke the girls up on time and did the regular routine. It's not my fault one of them was being slow as a snail. She finally got out to school, granted a little late but what should I do? I can't make her go any faster, I've tried. After school every Tuesday the girls go to their grandparents house until about 7 or 8pm which means I've got the whole day off. Not too long after school got out Dagmar came up to my room, almost in a panic, and told me about how Mimi (the snail) had PE in some other town and ended up walking/running all the way to her grandparents house. (I guess another mom that lives on the street saw Mimi and then told Dagmar... if I understood her right.) Mimi's grandpa usually picks her up from school on Tuesdays and he was confused and worried because no one was coming out of the school at the normal time. Any way, apparently this is my fault because I don't go through every single paper that Mimi brings home so we know when she has special activities like this. But really, why is that my fault? Dagmar is the mother, why can't she go through the papers? I'm just there to help with homework because Dagmar doesn't know how to do it patiently and it always ends in tears and yelling. Luckily I only have about two weeks left and then I'm done with this drama.
Then there was this morning. It started off bad when I slept through my alarm for about half an hour. Luckily both the kids were up with Dagmar and already eating breakfast. So since she's already there I don't see the need for both of us to be up so I went back to bed. A little after 8 the doorbell rings and then Dagmar calls me downstairs. Our neighbor said that something happened with Majlie, her bike was just on the side of the road and she was running the rest of the way to school. Dagmar told me to take the car and find Majlie. So what do I do? I go upstairs to put pants and socks and a coat on since it's below freezing outside. A few seconds later Dagmar yells something and I hear the car start as I'm putting my shoes on. Since I'm already up I decide to eat breakfast. Half way through my cereal Dagmar comes in and starts right up with "Why didn't you just go? You should have gone out the door right when I asked you to but what did you do? You ran upstairs. Majlie had class and can't miss that much and she was crying." I couldn't believe it. So I said "Sorry, my first thought was to put pants and socks on because it's cold outside. Besides you asked which one of us should go and I said 'I don't care.'" Any way, I had had every intention of apologizing about not waking up but after that I was so mad there was no way.
Then I ended up having to go get Majlie's bike that was locked to a bus stop not too far from home and I don't get why she didn't just run back home instead of trying to run all the way to school. It took me 25 minutes to walk slowly over there (I wanted to be out of the house as long as possible) and carry her bike back because the back tire had somehow completely come off her wheel. For Majlie to run back to the house would have only taken 5 minutes tops, and then she could have explained what happened and we could have driven her to school. Simple as that. Unfortunately nothing these people do is simple.
To make matters worse I cleaned Majlie's window today for the second or third time in a week. Of course it gets dirty, it's a window and it's raining and snowing outside! But honestly, it's below freezing out there. Do you know how hard it is to wash a window when it's that cold? And to get it to Dagmar's standards, ie streak free, spot free, clean as the day it was made... it's near impossible. Now it's almost noon. What else is going to go wrong today? The only thing that could make this day worse is if Majlie brings home her English test and has a 3 (C, they just do numbers here) or worse. It's not my fault that Majlie won't ever practice with me. I can't force people to do stuff they don't want to do. Besides, Dirk was home over the weekend and said he would help her study too. I hate that I have to play so many roles in this family and I'm not even part of the family, just someone they pay. Sometimes I think it would be easier if both parents were gone so that it was just me and I could do things my way instead of being criticized every step of the way. Seems like everything I do lately is wrong.