That's basically how I feel right now. There is so much going through my mind that I don't even know where to start. I guess we'll start at the beginning of my day and hopefully that will make a little sense. I woke up this morning around 7 and apparently I fell asleep with the lights and tv on. After turning everything off and trying to figure out how long I had already been asleep I figured 7 was too early to be up on a day with nothing to do so I went back to bed. As I was sleeping I had a weird dream. I don't remember a lot of details but I know that I was looking for my cell phone because I didn't know my number but I needed to give it to a guy (yes I know who the guy is, we'll get to that) so I had to look it up in my phone. Well I wasn't having any luck finding the phone but we found lots of random stuff in my back pack and we just started playing with that instead. There first few seconds after I woke up I was happy. And then reality set in and I remembered it was just a dream. All day today that dream has been playing itself over and over in my head and it's driving me crazy.
The boy in the dream is the boy that I have a crush on. The only problem with me having a crush on him is that he's currently on a mission for our church. We're both from about the same area and we both are going home around the same time. My main problem is, I don't know how he feels about me. This is such a problem because I can't just go up to him and ask, "Hey Elder, wanna go on a date in four months?" My friends keep telling me that I should just give him my contact info before he transfers (which could be next week) and if anything happens, great, and if not then it's no big deal. Really I have nothing to lose. If that's the case, why am I so nervous?
Last week I was talking to the Elders at our English class (the Elders started it up about two months ago and so far only once have people shown up but we keep doing it just in case) mainly just about random stuff. One Elder, we'll call him Elder B, and I were talking about ice blocking and how he's never done it. Then we started talking about how to make an ultimate ice block, fill a whole freezer with water, and then having to have a truck to take it back up the hill every time. Since he's from ID and I'm thinking about going to USU we said that we would get together and try doing it. Then Elder S, the one I like, said that he would go up there too even though he goes to BYU. Elder B and Elder S aren't really the type of people that would hang out with each other, but I think I would hang out with both of them separately. Any way, I'm probably just reading too much into that.
Elder S has been in my ward now for 5 months. We talk at least a little bit every week, especially with this English class. But during those conversations he's mentioned a girlfriend once or twice. It never sounded serious, but just the possiblity that there is someone back home... I don't know what to think about that. Sometimes I catch him just looking at me, or at least in my general direction because when I glance at him he'll look away real quick. I don't know if that means anything though. Maybe it just means that since I usually sit across from him that's the most natural place to look. Or maybe it means he's rethinking the decision to go to USU? (Maybe wishful thinking on my part...)
Why are guys so confusing? Why is this turning in to such a big thing for me? Why am I posting this on the web for all to see? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
The world may never know.
You've been tagged!
ReplyDeleteA. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning. B. Each player lists 6 facts/habits about themselves. C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
Have fun!
Come back to me and we will make life fun! Especially if you come up to Utah State! We would have the time of our lives up at school together! One year of high school is simply not going to cut it.
ReplyDeleteMaren, Maren, Maren...sounds like life is just getting good,eh? I know exactly how you feel. teehee Actually, you made some very good points in your blog. And I'm sorry you have a crush on a missionary...that sucks!! I have done that before...no fun. But, I didn't have your situation...I wasn't going home to basically the same place at basically the same time...so that sucks even more. ORRRRR..it could be a really good thing. You never know. We'll just have to wait and see. But you should definately give your contact info to both Elders..that way it won't look too obvious..and then let him decide if he's interested. Just by giving him your info shows that you are interested in at least staying in touch. So, what's the harm? But it's still nerve wracking. Anyway, I'm sure time will fly by and you'll be home in no time. Just concentrate on school...that should help.
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